This $20,000 fully customizable Baldur's Gate 3 Astral sex doll will help you find love and abandon God.

Friends, this could be the last time you hear from me. I suspect that PC Gamer IT is drafting a message to PC Gamer HR as I speak. The subject? The subject?

In truth, I'm not surprised, since I've visited a number of sites that sell custom sex toys in the past hour or so. The reason? Swen Vincke of Larian CEO retweeted a tweet that called attention to what I can't believe is not a custom sex-doll of Baldur's Gate 3 Astarion.

Or, to be more specific, it's a retweet from a screenshot of a secondscreenshot taken by a customer who was satisfied with a custom Astarion doll. This is [an] incredible doll. "The doll is very well made and the details are amazing!" Astarion's fan says: "The details are amazing!"

The only problem with the makers is that they didn't capture his likeness correctly. He has the wan skin color and the pointed ears, yes, but he is a little heavier and has a shorter face than everyone's favorite BG3 vampire boy. The buyer was "not completely satisfied with a custom head unfortunately," they said, as it wasn't in line with a 3D file that they had given to the doll maker. You could have used a 3D file from a videogame.

The doll was rated four stars out of five. The cost was what interested . How much would a fully actuated, life-size vampire cost you today? The retweet said it cost $20K but I didn't believe that. I'm an investigative journalist with a lot of grit, like Woodward and Bernstein. I had to check the information myself.

Unfortunately, the website from which the post was posted made it difficult to tell. The original post tells readers to not ask where the screenshot was taken, adding to the mystery. After some digging and visiting websites that someone senior will definitely have a word about, I found out the source: A custom doll review from a website called (the following links is profoundly NSFW) Spartan Lover.

What is the price of a doll like this? It's normally $10,498 but is currently on sale at $3,499 off. You can easily double the price once you have added all the accoutrements. (You can customize every inch including the actuation and body hair. I wouldn't be surprised if Tiffany's Astorion really cost $20K, or even more.

You know what? They're doing well. It is not my place to judge how someone spends their money, or what they do with their fictional vampires in their own homes. Tiffany is not the only one. After my sojourn in the seedier side BG3 fandom, I also discovered other posable Astarions.

Honestly? This one, from a creator named Namihu BJD, (which, again, does not advertise itself as a "sex doll" like the Spartan Lover does) captures the vamp's look a lot better than Tiffany did. To be fair, it was probably made a lot later. I'm sure it took advantage of the latest developments in silicone Astarion technology. If you're curious, but don't feel like spending $20K on it? You can dip your toe in the water by purchasing Astarion's eyeless, terrifying head at a fraction of its cost.