Microsoft softens its language about killing the Control Panel but it will still kill the Control Panel.

Windows is like a constant negotiation between me and a hostile, unstable terrorist for whom I have paid. I was ready to be upset when it "deprecated" the Control Panel by replacing it with the newer Settings menu. Microsoft has softened their words, but not the meaning, as reported by Ars Technica. I also don't believe that the big M did anything wrong this time .

Windows support page recently updated with "The Control Panel will soon be deprecated, in favor of the Settings App, which offers a modern and streamlined user experience." Microsoft changed the language after widespread discussion and reporting, including PC World's "Windows will have pry Control Panel out of my cold dead hands." (much respect).

It sounds a little more gentle, but it still means the same thing. "Control Panel is out of the team. Settings is being called up from the Minor Leagues." The Control Panel era is over. It's time for the wolves. The phrase "modern and simplified experience" must be a condescending insult to those who love the Control Panel. Windows' "modern and streamlined" experience makes me feel like I'm being jerked about, slapped on the face, pushed in the mud and told to say "thanks" for it.

But I honestly don't remember when I last used the Control Panel. I usually get to my destination via Settings (ugh) " App," but if that doesn't work, I'll use the OS's search function. It's always trying open Bing in Edge for some godforsaken reasons.

The Control Panel was never easy to find. There was never a rhyme or reason to its layout--alphabetical, thematic, what have you--you just had to squint and go down the columns until you found what you were looking for, or otherwise submit to a dumbed down categorical view that still felt randomized somehow. I owe nothing to the Control Panel. It can die for all I care.

Windows' second ecosystem of "apps", which is a nerdy, unattractive way to search, resets the wallpaper of my second monitor on restart. The search tool does not work and instead sends me to Bing. They're not fixing any of this, but instead they're releasing new AI surveillance tools and saying "sorry" when people get angry.

Yeah, I've got some grievances. This year, Festivus was early. I should become a Linux Guy like all men my age.