The 2024 rulebooks of D&D have preserved the tradition of serf-based war.

Tell me, tired traveller: What image comes to mind when I say "peasant railroadgun"? A high-tech weapon used to liberate a working class from a fantasy world. No. It's 2,280 hirelings in a line. They are using rules chicanery, and a solid understanding of how TTRPGs operate to argue that an adequately motivated workforce can throw a ladder at a speed of 1,188 miles per hours.

This is more of a thought experiment than something available to players of 5th edition Dungeons & Dragons. While a line with 2,280 creatures can move an object this distance with their prepared actions, the idea also relies on applying rules for a falling item to something that is going sideways with the proletariat acting as gravity.

This is nonsense. Rules as written, the improvised ladder would fly several thousand feet, before (best case scenario) being thrown as an improvised weapon, dealing 1d4 of bludgeoning damages. Maybe 1d12 if DM accepts that a ladder is the equivalent of a greatclub.

It's with great pleasure that I report that a genius named Deathpacito-01, from the dndnext Subreddit, has created another peasant strategy, which, although probably still not allowed by any sensible DM technically falls within the rules as written territory (thanks Wargamer): Do I think you should test this at your table?" No. "I'm not posting it as a recommendation but rather as an alert."

The peasant's jackhammer is operated as follows: The new 2024 rulebook version of Conjure Woodland beings works a lot like Spirit Guardians. It deals 5d8 force damages "every time a creature that you can see enters the Emanation or ends its Turn there." But, Wizards of the Coast says, waving its finger, "a creature can only make this save once per turn."

The "once per turn", or "once every turn" part, is crucial. The new ruleset allows you to auto-fail the grapple check if you wish. You could, therefore, hire a group of peasants who would, on each of their turns, laboriously shuffle the aura back and forth in the creature's space. This would reset the "once per round" limit of the spell's damaging power.

Deathpacito-01 uses the example of a Purple Worm to write: "Assuming that the druid is 18 WIS with a spell saving DC of 15, then the Purple Worm fails the save 75% the time. The total expected damage is (100d8*0.25)/2 + 100d8*0.75 = 393.75 per round.

This strategy has a few weaknesses. You're relying on the 20+ peasants you have to march into battle not unionising, or dying from a fireball or a stiff wind. D&D is not a videogame that has hard code. The DM can also look at you and say, "no, this is stupid", and ruin your entire plan.

It is more in-tradition and, most importantly, more rules-legitimate than its predecessor. It also gives me a sense that this nonsense was discovered in less than one week, or two days by my mark. The new Player's Handbook came out on September 17 and the post was published September 19. D&D's R&D department moves faster than a ladder in the hands of 2,280 farmers.