The games industry is further pushed into self-parody after ESRB leaked the existence of a Horizon Zero Dawn Remaster

Benjamin Franklin said that three people can keep a secret, as long as one of them is not a videogame rating board. He was right. The ESRB has again leaked a game release before its official announcement. Its main purpose is to prevent children from being exposed too much violence and drugs, and their covert purpose is to undercut publisher marketing campaigns. Horizon Zero Dawn Remastered is the game this time. Wait, what?

It's true, folks. 2017's prettiest robo hunting sim is about get even prettier. Unless someone at the ESRB just wishes it into existence. According to the listing that is still active on the board's site, the remaster will launch on both PS5 as well as PC. However, the exact method of remastering it remains a mystery.

The obvious question to ask is: Why? The PS5 version of Horizon received a whizzbang upgrade three years ago, allowing it to take advantage the extra power of the new console. It's been beautiful on PC from the beginning. HZD, out of all the games I have in my Steam library is still one of the most beautiful. It almost seems as if the games industry is making fun of itself by remastering a game which is both intensely playable and absolutely beautiful.

It's no coincidence that the ESRB rating was released just a week before Sony announced the PS5 Pro and its eye-watering price. Horizon could be one of the Pro Console's most impressive games when it launches in November.

This, if anything just brings home how marginal I find the improvements made by the PS5 Pro, as a man who is still recovering from the purchase of an RTX 4480 early last year. The PS5 Pro is a response to a nonexistent problem. Whereas the PS4 Pro was a reasonable solution to developers' complaints about the underpowered console hardware of last generation, it feels like the PS5 Pro is a reasonable solution to the devs' complaining about the underpowered consoles. Sony's decision to make Horizon Zero Dawn, a game that looks fantastic and is already one of its most impressive games, its flagship title almost feels like it's putting a lamp shade over its own product.

Fortunately for Sony, and corporations around the world, I am a moron. I will probably still buy whatever Horizon Remaster turns out to be when it goes on sale in a year or so. I've been in the games industry for decades.